Thursday, 25 January 2024
Existentialism
Monday, 18 December 2023
How Do We Love?
(posted on Facebook 10/12/2023)
Ignore this post, it is not about you, it's about love.
As a psychiatric nurse I have had a lifetime of pondering the intricacies of human relationships. Part science and part art, my profession poses the fundamental question: "How do we love?" (not, who, what, or why but how).
And it often struggles to find the answer.
This question has haunted me more than ever this year: working in an NHS in crisis; with War breaking out on Europe's doorstep in the Donbas and Gaza regions; the post-Brexit economy stalling; and asylum seekers being deported to a place few others in the World have ever been, or had ever desired to go.
So this morning I watched this video and the answer I think it gave me is that:
Sunday, 17 December 2023
How to Predict a Murder?
This is important because unlike crimes defined by property ownership or financial value, hate crimes are defined by their impact on identity capital: specifically the racial, religious, disabled, sexual and transgender identities that make up the human capital of our multi-dimensional communities. It may be a matter of debate for some, but for most social scientists these identities are assumed to be social and psychological (or bio-psycho-social) in their construction and maintenance. This means that hate crimes can be used to validate theories about the construction and maintenance of identities in our local communities.
"Figure 2.1 shows the indexed trend in overall violent and public order offences since the year ending March 2013 compared with all hate crime offences over the same period. As can be seen, there is a strong correlation between the increase in overall public order and violence against the person offences and hate crime. While hate crimes have fallen in the latest year, the overall number of violence against the person and public order offences was similar to the previous year."
There is always a question about the accuracy of recording any sort of crimes, but the ONS report accounts for this. Their report identifies a number of areas where improvements have taken place. However, these do not appear to represent a threat to the validity of the association between increases in interpersonal hostilities within communities, and the outcomes being violence against the person.
"92% of hate crimes in the year ending March 2023 were for either public order or violence against the person offences, continuing the pattern seen in previous years. These 2 offence groups were thought to have been previously subject to relatively high levels of under-recording and thus improvements in crime recording are likely to have had a larger impact on these groups than other offences."
There were 4 clear spikes in these aggravated offences which were not seen in the non-aggravated offences:
- July 2016, following the EU Referendum
- July 2017, following the terrorist attacks seen in this year
- Summer 2020, following the Black Lives Matter protests and far-right counter-protests following the death of George Floyd on 25th May in the United States of America
- the fourth spike in the summer of 2021 was largely due to an increase of racially or religiously aggravated public fear, alarm or distress offences; these offences have fallen in the latest year by 7% (from 55,470 to 51,331); the fall in these offences is discussed above"
Hate crimes can be defined because they violate certain rules of communication; moral rules that govern the social interactions of a culture. These are the same rules that govern what we can and cannot say in different social spaces. As social interactions they are economically equivalent to a production process, where emotional inputs pass through interconnected psychological structures to produce individual behavioural outcomes, that impact on the emotional capital of the community as a whole. It is the prediction of these behavioural outcomes that interest the behavioural scientist.
We already know from deprivation data that the incidence of violent crimes within a community is linked to population density. And increases in population density are linked to increases in rates of homicide, suicide and deliberate self harm. But it has never actually been possible to predict who will kill themselves, or someone else, when or how. But the link between hate crimes, violent crimes, and sociallly contructed identities, now allows us to predict the likelihood of an event based on the surveilance of narratives on social media, that produce hatred against a minority, within a local community.
However, in a similar way to the uncertainty principle in quantum mechanics: knowing that an event is more likely does not help us predict exactly where, when or how that event will take place. All we can say is that it is becoming more likely to take place in a certain area or region within the broader social system. But for community mental health nurses this is enough information. This is the information we need to direct our limited resources to the areas where ther is greatest need. It increases the possibility that we will be able to intervene earlier in the production process, and possibly even start to prevent certain untwoard events from occurring.
References:
Definition of Hate Crime: https://www.cps.gov.uk/crime-info/hate-crime
Definition of Violent Crime: https://www.cps.gov.uk/crime-info/violent-crime
Monday, 23 October 2023
Identity Values?
PRESS RELEASE Published 25 May 2022
"UK Government acts on Identity and Language legislation for Northern Ireland
The Secretary of State for Northern Ireland will today (Wednesday 25 May) introduce legislation in Parliament that will deliver a balanced package of measures for Northern Ireland on identity and language.
From: Northern Ireland Office and The Rt Hon Brandon Lewis CBE MP.
The Identity and Language (Northern Ireland) Bill will deliver measures to promote and respect Northern Ireland’s diverse national, cultural and linguistic identities.
It will provide for the recognition and protection of the Irish language and the development of the Ulster Scots and Ulster British tradition.
It will create two Commissioners and an Office of Identity and Cultural Expression, which will benefit everyone in Northern Ireland.
The Bill will amend the Northern Ireland Act to allow for the establishment of three new public authorities in Northern Ireland, including an Office of Identity and Cultural Expression to promote cultural pluralism and respect for diversity, alongside Commissioners on the Irish language and the Ulster Scots/Ulster British tradition."
Monday, 24 July 2023
Politics is the Sun
Politics is the Sun, as Icarus
We fall into Poseidon's arms,
While the King lives on dry Land,
And all that walk on Tera Firma,
Must pay their Taxes, unto Death.
Now the blessed Congregation sings:
"Respect to the Dead...."
And pause to Will their Shadows echo:
"....And to the Living"
The answer comes,
Like so many feathers on the Wind.
Saturday, 7 January 2023
The Tape Recorder
Saturday 29th April, 1978, 17.30h London: Maguire ambled round his flat, fed his cat, picked up his post, and poured himself the first whiskey of the day. He dumped himself, unwashed, in the nearest chair. Pyjamas yawning, he organised his nest around him. The hessian curtains remained drawn. He shifted a pile of papers to the left-side of his dining table revealing the 12” portable Ferguson 3816 black and white television. He exhaled slightly, depressing the power switch, satisfying a habitual stimulus-response. The cool globe glowed, picking out the edges of his contemplation in the shadows. Adjusting the tuning knobs and circular antenna, he navigated the airwaves. He peered through the atmospherics, clicked another switch, and happened upon some alarming news: "The President of Afghanistan, Mohammed Daoud Khan, has been assassinated in a Communist-led coup…..” The image and sound fizzed a little and blinked before regaining its strength. “…..In an attempt to calm the situation, US President Jimmy Ca…..[more fizzing and blinking]…..ding a new Ambassador to Kabul." The newscaster showed no emotion and moved directly on to the next story; Maguire stopped breathing for a second or two; lips opened; a momentary lapse in concentration.
This was significant. Afghanistan was a buffer state that had been "shared" between the Allies since the end of the WW2. Only a few years ago the absolute monarchy had given way to a fledgling democracy. The new president Daoud had aligned the country with the Russians at first, but they maintained a respectful distance. "A miscalculation" Maguire now thought. Daoud had been "turned" by the CIA operating out of Iran. Now partisans were accelerating the country back towards a full Soviet-block-satellite-state. This was a disaster for UK and US foreign policy. One form of corrupt coercive-controlling censorship being replaced by another. His hand pulled back over his greased, nicotine-stained, ginger-white hair. He groaned slightly holding some curls against his liver pate neck. He searched the table-top for his tin of ten short panatella Hamlet cigars, and settled in for a long morning. Wafting away the sulphurous essence of an extinguished match, he exhaled a plume of smoke into the stillness of his quiet life. The image of his solitary confinement returned. The Soviet's must have sensed a significant weakening in the Shah's position. The cat jumped onto his lap.
“Oh my God, it’s Sven!?” Shirin smiled. Seconds earlier she had opened a bottle of expensive French wine and placed a BASF LH 90 cassette into her Panasonic RQ-309AS desktop tape recorder. It was a peaceful 19 degrees with a light breeze, 20.12h, uptown Tehran. She had been hoping for a serenade by Googoosh or Kourosh Yaghmaei but this was Sven’s lecture on Dreams from 1976. She could hear rain in the background and the chatter of Farsi from students arriving in the foreground. But all she could remember was the snowy north-eastern peaks shining brightly through the lead laden clouds, as Sven had arrived that morning. She felt the same twinge of excitement, hearing his voice again, but felt intensely bored by his choice of subject. Steadily and confidently he set out the parameters of his speech: “….covering my position on the changing relationship between psychic structures during sleep….”. She giggled at her voyeuristic intentions, disrobing his intellectual sincerity with her cat-like superiority.
After some conventional pre-amble, and mutterings of approval from the floor, Sven structured his thoughts thus:
“1) During the day the autobiographical memory is able to collect data like a magnetic tape does in a tape recorder. As the mass of information builds upon a spool, it wraps together and gets condensed. This wrapping together, subtracts the temporal dimension, from the tape, so that patterns in the data, can be matched across time. In the brain, when time is collapsed in this way, the emotional encoding of the information becomes the primary means of matching data sequences. What remains of the data is a skeleton, of abstract, idealised, schema. This leads me to the idea that the irrational politics of identity, that consume all of our attention during our waking hours, is actually based on other people responding to their internalised schemas. We all do this. Overgeneralising our expectations. Of self and other. We deny each other an individuality, to give ourselves one, of our own. What I am trying to say is, as an individual, I deny you any recourse to be yourself, within the moments of our shared reality, one of us is always in charge. Relationships are condemned to be asymmetrical like that.”
She tilted her head to one side, warm and willing him to go on. She took another sip, and rested back on her chair.
“2) When we dream, the activated schema appear under different symbolic guises. Our identity is made up of an infinite number of interpersonal relationships. Relationships hold us within a lattice work of a social structures, shaped by the trajectory of a collective autobiography. This is all connected, through symbolic representations, which give our insignificant existence, some sort of meaning. Some of the relationships leave us with an emotional cost, as an outcome, and some with an emotional benefit. In terms of our self-other evaluations, as individuals or members of a group, we constantly calculate whether, and how, or why, we are winners or losers in this game, this game of survival. Those relationships that cannot be changed, within the games we play, are those that come to define our personalities, our personality traits. On this point, the individual personality, I believe the current evidence shows, indisputably, that we are all built the same, regardless of race, colour or creed. Regardless of the linguistic culture within which our social identity is constructed. There are five, universal, dimensions of personality. They are broad but still meaningful. On one of these dimensions the trauma schema embed emergency responses that can override rational thought process. On another, our sexual and social experiences become hard-wired, as preferences, after puberty. And on the remaining three dimensions the technologies of adaptation work to maintain us within our identity reference groups.”
Shirin was lulled into a hypnogogic trance, slowly becoming conscious, focussing her stare. The small cogs were turning within the white spools of the orange and black cassette. Each spoke seemed to represent a trajectory escaping to the edge of space, being bound by the sound of a voice, translated into on/off switches, passing the point of consciousness, and returning to the magnetic tape. An image of her mother returned to her, enveloped in her bosom, a hug and kiss. She had died when Shirin was five years old, due to complications from the birth of her younger brother. Her father was an Iranian aristocrat. He considered himself to be a European and a Moslem. Like the Shah he believed he was descended from the Aryan race, but he was opposed to communism and the Shah's land reforms. Shirin despised his duplicity. He had worked with the UN to help investigate Iran's human rights violations. Consequently, Shirin grew up in fear of the explosive temper of her coercive-controlling father and the covert surveillance of the Shah's secret police. In the end her father had reconciled himself with the Shah's regime. His cruel pragmatic authority had destroyed her young adult identity. He had received help from the Bank to make even more money, buying his land back from the peasants. The constant narrative within the family, was that she should be grateful. The family were richer than ever, and she was more painfully anxious. The tape continued, rocking slightly in its imperfect carriage:
“3) Political positions are found within the lattice work of social relationships. Our ultimate goal is to balance the opposing forces within our lives. Within the brain, this process is represented as an electro-chemical interaction between different regions, in a modular arrangement of neural tissue. It is an entirely unconscious biological process that: a) integrates the sensori-motor experience, into a specific and unique geographical location, grounded within the classical physics, the deterministic mechanics, of the material environment; and b) a semantic memory that maps the conceptual structures of a linguistic culture, the symbolic representations of thought, into social hierarchies, and a taxonomy of types. And then, by logical deduction, the brain can work out, the individual's position, within a socially constructed reality. A socially constructed reality that can only exist in the history of a linguistic culture. So with this basic understanding now in place, I can get to my thesis. To this relationship, between a socially constructed self and the physically immanent others, we can apply the principle, that where any trauma schema distorts the relationship, the process of figuring out the position, then a symptom of mental illness will arise. Insomnia, for instance, which many of you will have suffered from, and is just the inability to get to sleep or waking during sleep, I would say, is indicative of activated trauma schema that cannot be resolved within the existing social structures of the individual. So what is the individual supposed to do? Ask you as medical doctors, I suppose, to position yourselves, within the same reality, to interpret and categorise the patient’s insomnia, along with their many other psychiatric symptoms, as a diagnosis, as an ‘other’, that may or may not require treatment, by you, depending on the degree of intrusion/breach within the personality and/or between the interpersonal relationships involved [as a murmur of recognition echoed across the room] … between the ‘them and us’.”
From the age of eight, Shirin had been sent away to a private all girls' school in America. Returning every holiday from NewYork's La Guardia Airport until she had reached sixteen. She had gone on to study medicine at Tehran University and joined the Shah's Health Corp after graduation as part of the State-run education system. Politically, she was a liberal minded feminist. She was beautiful and neurotic. Sven thought she looked like Googoosh. Her dark soulful eyes and olive skin were frequently hidden by large bug-eyed thick rimmed sunglasses, and aromatic perfumes. Silky black floral dresses would hug her waist, hips and legs as she walked, but puff-out her shoulders and sleeves, as she stood and talked to the Faculty. During his visit in the autumn of 1976, Sven had recorded all this on his Canon Auto Zoom 518 SV. She had taken him to various sites in Tehran and visited her ex-colleagues among the rural peasants, he had never seen such poverty, but they loved her like she was the Queen of England. She had never seen the processed film. Sven would replay it on his Eumig 610-D when he was sure he was on his own at home in London: slipping the loaded spool onto its outstretched arm, threading the super 8 film through the projector clip. He would check the tension on the rear spool and flick the bulb on. The smell of Chanel would often return to him first, accompanied by an enduring empathy with her cheeky smile. She was smiling again now – unbeknownst to him:
“4) Understanding the reality where trauma intrudes on an interpersonal relationship involves identifying the triggers, the unifying emotional memory between the present and the past, how schemas from the past have repeated themselves throughout someone's life history. The medical profession, you as medical professionals, have to plan for how the crises that they have, and will continue to create if untreated, can be managed in order to change the emotional and relational outcomes. You are the managers of an emotional economy, accountants of a spiritual currency that has real outcomes, in terms of the quality and quantity of life, for Iran. Every next person that you can return to mental health, is a return on all our investments, in your social relationships, in your humanity.”
Maguire’s first drink had started to clear last night’s muggy-headedness. The Cold War had just got hotter. NATO would not accept this incursion without reprisals. US foreign policy would have to change. The CIA's support for the Shah's murderous regime in Iran was starting to look increasingly untenable. He slowly contemplated the alternatives. The CIA had trained the SAVAK in the violent suppression of Communism. But the terror had bled out, and infected other areas, all forms of popular dissent were now being repressed. Only the anti-communist Clergy had been allowed to proliferate, in the shadow of the Iranian monarchy. In return, they had legitimised the Shah's murderous regime. Together, the establishment spun a gilded lexicon, weaving incoherent and incongruent narratives, between what could and could not be said. They were never exposed to logical scrutiny, but words were only needed to reference things symbolically: extreme acts of violence created ripples of opinion that could not be silenced by any sort of religion. Once it reached the echo chamber of the international press, public outrage became pure oxygen for flaming left-wing intellectuals like Sven and Shirin.
Their outrage tickled him, but only fleetingly. There had already been sporadic uprisings against the Shah’s rule, but nothing organised as of yet. The international press feeding a populist fetish for human rights. They had already convicted the US of war crimes in Vietnam. Wrongly he felt. Now the political stability of the Middle-East was being put at risk. This was very bad for business. Middle-eastern petro-chemicals had fuelled the American dream since 1951. Colonial Empires had crumpled in its wake, the old moral order had been dismantled in favour of a radical individualism. The White Revolution, he felt, had generally been a good thing, no-one could argue with that. He sympathised with the ideology of Iranian Republicans, but they were now composed mainly of a rich and well-educated middle-class. The region could not be allowed to fall to the Soviets; the only other superpower. Shirin was keenly aware of the rising tensions, and tended to resolve her own internal conflicts by backing the Society of Iranian Socialists, especially in any arguments she had had with Sven. The tape continued to wrap its serpent tail around the opposing spool, tightening itself like a noose around the neck of its victim:
“5) Dreams are built on the same myths and cultural practices that terrorists and governments will exploit in the pursuit of power. The sophistry of propaganda, of the advertising media, thrives on the hope and optimism of people who are suffering. Foreign propaganda can infiltrate any culture through co-opting the schema and positional tropes of its host. The nature of government is that it denies people their instinctive emotional response to exploitation, while exploiting them [some uncomfortable coughs began to spread within the room. But Sven was not in a mood to self-censor]. Marx himself, exploits the dialectical reaction to over-exploitation. Terrorism is an attempt, by an oppressed minority, to force the wider population, to feel the fear and anger, that central government over-exploitation, has caused. [He mustered his energy for a volley of political rhetoric aimed directly at those who would smother free-speech in Iran. Shirin was thrilled and anxious at the same time]. The ideology of the guerrilla, is for small symbolic acts of defiance, political rhetoric, or military action, to engage a Nation's trauma history, of external threat and internal abandonment, so that the sympathies of the wider population are triggered, aligning the populous, with the terrorist, and generalising their cause, across all instances of a certain class, against the other actions, that central government has taken, to enforce its exploitation, of the whole population, against the interests of the people it is said to serve. This is the reality of modernism.”
Maguire was thinking that there was a possibility that the CIA might now start backing the pro-Pushtan Mujahedin in Afghanistan against the Soviet-backed regime. They were more conservative than the Marxist guerrillas of the Mujahedin-e-Khalq in Iran. Would the CIA support any jihadists? This might indeed require an act of duplicity towards the Shah and the Christian right in the US and the UK. It could put the whole position of the USA in the Middle East under threat. However, taking a lesson from the Rothschild’s during WW2, he reasoned it was better for the CIA to back all the opposing sides in the region. Spread betting could reduce the huge financial as well as human cost involved.
Sven loved Shirin, like Sartre loved Simone de Beauvoir. She was a radical individualist, he instinctively sided with the proletariat. Ultimately, they were both disillusioned with the intransigent hyperbole of the Cold War. Like most they were seeking a way out of the impasse. He felt called upon to resolve the crippling unconscious conflicts of modernity. He took natural selection to be his God, and narrative consensus to be ‘the Word’. Embodying the dominant ideology, embedding it within a unique geo-political position, surviving the socio-economic contingencies of the zeitgeist, and regulating the primordial emotions. Narratives evolved through generations, like technology of the industrial age. Within any culture, counter-narratives would always form, but this was an evolution according to the spirit of a dialectical hermeneutic, not a Class War.
Shirin was a well-educated medical doctor, and yet, because of her upbringing, she still attributed all her successes to God and all her failures to the devil. Although her dark hair played seductively around her shoulders and bare neckline, her neck muscles would ripple as she scanned the environment, constantly on the look-out for her friends, and her enemies. She often wore a silk scarf that could be neatly hoisted into place, should the circumstances require it. She considered her guilt to be an important part of a woman’s sexual repertoire. Her sexual partners teased her about it. The greatest depths of her backcombed hairspray-laden curls, permitted her fringe to descend in an oversized arc, accentuating the heaviness of her eyebrows, giving the hint of a not-so-innocent school-girl look.
“6) During sleep the structure and self-censorship of autobiographical memory is at its lowest ebb. Operating in correspondence with the sleep-wake cycle, new connections are made during daytime activity and consolidated at night. During the light sleep stage, the self-memory system and the social identity remain intact. However, during deeper stages of sleep, when the control of the CNS over the ANS is at its lowest, the dream state occurs. No army can defend itself against the phantoms that haunt the psyche. During sleep the brain becomes more organised around its biological needs, and interpersonal narratives become more fragmented as a result. The temporal dimension of daytime is absent, repressed emotions resurface, haunting the subjective state, with an incoherent narrative, whose only meaning is the emotion it releases. The dream is no different from a psychosis. Delusions weaving together the symbolic visual and auditory expressions of unfulfilled instincts. Make no mistake about it – dreams are the closest we get to pure sexual and violent impulses beyond the range of human tolerance for such experiences, they are – if you like - the definition of hell on earth. Heaven is freedom from this hell. A relaxed awake state. A sort of meditation. But, Heaven is ultimately an unobtainable faith that things can and will get better. So when you ask yourself: “Why do I spend my life balancing myself between other people's feelings about me, and my feelings about them?” you now know what the answer might be, or at least, where to find the answers, where the only true answers will ever be found, and that place is, in your dreams. Your dreams, your nightmares, and the living history of your collective autobiographies. [a smattering of respectful and appreciative applause followed, quickly accompanied by a rapid vacating of seats.]"
Sven awoke to a familiar sound: the ‘trrrrr’ of his rear projector spool spinning – double speed. His home movie, entitled ‘Iran 1976’, had finished. The front spool now empty, the super 8 film entirely wrapped round the back. The bright light of the projector beam remained on. He looked at his watch: ’18.33h’ he must have been asleep for about an hour and a half. He wasn’t sure. He rubbed his eyes, and tidied away his things in preparation for the evening meal.
Sunday, 30 October 2022
The Timetable
“We have people in Libya?” said the rather twitchy ex-military Professor of Linguistics. He and Sven sat at right angles around the table in the dining room of his dusty bookish North London apartment. He shifted his hunched shoulders imperceptibly within the triangle of his heavy blushed clasped hands and ruby-red nose. He had loved whiskey a little too much over the years. Dressed in green tweed with oiled slicked-back ginger hair, his greying sideburns held any perspiration tightly to his forehead. And yet, the occasional drip would still escape, finally nestling against his mandible joint. He was a heart attack waiting to happen, pursed lips thinning into an edgy smile. Sven scanned his face for a few seconds trying to gauge the emotional direction of the script unfolding between them.
Professor Malcolm Maguire was born in Belfast and educated at Cambridge. He had won a scholarship and shared digs with Sven in Marshall Road. Sven had gone on to study psychoanalysis at the Tavistock whilst Maguire had joined the Royal Intelligence Corp. He completed several tours, mostly in the Middle East, and often recounted his role in the Suez debacle; but in general, he was ambiguous about his political views. His lack of conviction actually helped him climb the ranks of Academia. He gained a PhD in Anthropological Linguistics at the age of 38. His thesis looked at the evolution of Arabic languages during the post-War period; comparing the stability of cultural practices with the fluidity of contemporary lexicons. He was a mine of information. Sven had come to see him to ask if he could help his friend, Shirin, who had phoned from Tehran, frightened for her life. It was unfamiliar territory for Sven, but not utterly incoherent. He reversed quickly from an all-out charm offensive, into a more familiar, more reflective refrain: “What do you mean ‘We have people’?” A momentary stale-mate ensued, which Maguire was more than equal to: “Yes. In Libya!” He replied.
Maguire paused to pour himself another drink to see if Sven was going to match his return of serve. But Sven remained silent, still studying the light pink marbling sheen of his friend's face. So he took a deeper breath and went on: “Libya has just been through a revolution.
Similar to the one that took me to Egypt and Israel. I have a couple of PhD students
over there. They are sampling the discourse. I am helping them analyse it. They
want to publish. They can’t. There is a lot of politics among the Arabs. The
Journals are all State run. It’s an excuse for a free-ride, if you ask me. Plenty
of international development money, and all that. Still, …” he paused.
“What?” said Sven.
Maguire looked directly at him through his silver blue eyes “…they
think Iran will be next.”
Sven’s heart was beating a bit faster “You mean, Shirin really
could be in danger, it’s not just her delusions again?”
“Sven, you have to understand the situation over there. There
is a lot of paranoia. No trust. No truth. The War, well it never really ended.
It’s shifting sands. Dirty tricks, espionage, arms dealers, the lot. People only
ever tell you whatever they think you want to hear. They need to survive –
everyone does. In a world of fear, delusions ARE the reality. It’s an echo
chamber of misery and lies.”
“That’s what she said Malc. It’s terrorism really isn’t it.”
“Call it what you want Old Boy. If she is going to survive I
suggest she gets the hell out of there.”
Sven saw his chance to pop the question: “How can she Malc,
tell me, how can she do that?”
“I really don’t know Sven.”
“God help us! Can't your students do something?”
“I don’t think that would be on. Tripoli is over 2,000 miles
from Tehran. No direct train. I don’t think she could get through Iraq. Lots of mess. Bloody Ba'athists! The way things are, she probably wouldn’t be let into
Israel.”
“Well….what do you suggest?” Sven bit his lip and clenched
his teeth, metaphorically of course, at the same time. Staring intently at his friend,
like it was all his fault, his neck turned a pale rouge beneath his collar.
There was a longer pause this time as both men weighed the thought of ending their
friendship now, through a violent and senseless incandescent rage spilling over
into the next few years of silence between old comrades, or indeed, spending
the rest of their morning hours making a plan, like the anxious middle-aged
insomniacs they had both become.
“Let me get a map.” Said Malcolm.
“And a timetable.” Said Sven.
As the Professor left the room to raid his library, Sven
looked up to the ceiling momentarily, and sighed deeply. His eyes widened, his
head fell, his sight landed back on the table. He felt sad, exhausted,
thrilled, excited, angry, and uncomfortable. He leant over to pour himself
another few millimetres, and arose, shifting his bones wearily, to find a
comfier chair. The crockery tingled on the table top. He felt the glass warming
in the palm of his hand as he sunk into some nearby upholstery; smelling Brylcream,
stale smoke, and oak-matured spices lacing the back of his throat. The clock on
the mantel piece was chiming 1 a.m. quietly. And as the movements whirred to
their ultimate conclusion, the metronomic rhythm resumed its beat. His mind
drifted. His pulse slowed. His thoughts danced across the surface of a deeply unconnected
terrain.
He entered a world created and bound by an infinity of interlocking
journeys, a synchronicity of converging narratives, personal and cultural memories.
He became a part of a massive holographic DNA clock, ticking quietly in the
background of all God’s creations. There were quantum movements between cells, with
distant echoes rebounding from the shoreline, separating and uniting living
liquid and crystalline forms. The symbiosis of causal deterministic processes. Communication
is consciousness, he repeated gently to himself. The sender and receiver of his
own thoughts. Death was the vacuum, sucking order into chaos, the entropic end
of all thermodynamic beings. His life was only an energy potential. An
impermanent, permeable threshold. What is belief but redundant information that constantly reiterates itself? What is the brain but a time machine mapping the past onto future events? What is reality but an isolated interpretation
of a momentary snapshot of sensory experience? What is love but an intoxicating
addiction to something that can never be possessed? At least, not completely,
not completely possessed, not by him.
He could see Shirin now, completing the crossword, at the
table. Waiting for a delivery, or a train at the station. Not knowing the
environment but reading it through its various arrivals and departures. The clothes
of the people arriving indicating their source. Like insects on the back of his
hand when he was lying in the middle of the woods by his School; hiding from
his pursuers, the insects predicted their approach, the threat, the need to
move. Like a fish in a pond. The clouds are just waves breaking overhead. The natural
order of ecologies. The Chi that binds the Universe. People arriving at the
same point in time. A coincidence, perhaps? He smiled. The floral genitalia
attracts bees for pollination purposes. A change in behaviour in response to an
observation is a communication of consciousness. Lilies on a pond. Opening up
on the surface but reflecting the ecology underneath. The intimate connectivity
of cells of the body. The more distant communication of neurons, screening out
the background while lying on the surface. Smells. The innate need children
have for their parents’ attention. Attention is attachment and security in a
hostile environment. Scent. The innate knowledge that is provided by the genes.
The constructed knowledge that is stimulated by the environment. Perfume is a religion.
Being is an identity. The clock entrains. Like attention, it reinforces
behaviour quietly.
But perhaps, this can be over-ridden by the shock of louder
noises, more intense and momentary gustatory pleasures and disgusts. Tastes. Trauma
memories and reward centres buried in cultural traditions. The interpretation is
the feeling. Like flowers and insects. Behaviour is objective but feeling is
subjective. That is how we know we are not alone. The temporal dimension of our
stories tie everyone into a clockwork machine, the sociological dimensions of who
we are to each other, determines the size of the journey we are on. Our bodies
are knitted together by the intentions of those at the top. Externalising their
vision and values. We reproduce their dreams. The chaotic nature of the deepest
levels of evolutionary experience. He who starts furthest away from the centre
has a longer and harder journey to traverse in order to achieve the same
outcomes. What tools are at their disposal? Only language can tell you. The
chains of freedom enslave us all. A life is just another sentence in the book
that is being written. The commuter and the homeless person sleeping through
the rush hour. Oblivion. Isolation. Loss of meaning. How can the masses choose
the narrow path? Is their pursuit of sensory pleasure a risky sexual deviation
or part of the same train track? Travellers on different journeys arriving at
the same destination. The solidarity to be found in the complete transience of
life. It doesn't always go to plan, does it? Missing the train. Bereavement.
Guilt. Reorganising the journey plan, using timetables, maps, watches,
calculators. The inevitability of "transgressions". And, hopefully, our
absolution.
A few moments passed and Sven was startled back to his sense slightly as the Professor re-entered the room.
“You’ve given me an idea, Old Boy” Maguire said eagerly.
Sven barely moved. The nape of his neck lolling against gravity, his eyelids losing the battle against sleep. He mustered a muffled grunt.
This was enough for Maguire to continue: “My students in Tripoli have been looking at the relationship between how the cultural lexicon is changing along with changes in attitudes towards the West. BUT, they can’t PROVE that the revolution was the cause. Plenty of anti-Gaddafi literature says it would have happened anyway. Bullshit! Who cares! The important thing is, it’s the closest we’ve got to deep grammar.”
Sven’s forehead wrinkled and without looking he exhaled: “Whaat?!”
“Right. Surface grammar - the way nouns, adjectives, determiners, etc. are ordered in a language [yes?] - that stays the same. While the deep grammar - the way the meaning of a word maps onto their physical manifestations [yes?] - changes. And this happens more quickly [yes?] during periods of political and economic revolution, than it does, during normal periods of science.”
“Rrriiight” said Sven, in a slightly mocking apathetic tone, not
sure if he was really following what was being said.
“….BUT, in order to be sure, we need to observe this process. This process: before [before?], during [during?] and after [after?] a revolution….”
“Yeeaahhssss!” said Sven starting to cotton-on.
“…and a revolution is what is just about to happen in Iran.”
Sven’s neck straightened to lift his head bolt upright.
“You mean, you want Shirin to help set up a research team in
Tehran?....”
“Yeeaahhssss!” replied the grizzened Professor
“….And you can employ her on a research contract…”
“Yeeaahhssss!”
“….And get her a visa to the UK to work with us?”
“Yeeaahhssss!”
“Brilliant!” Sven was shocked "Why didn't I think of that?"
“But it's not with Us Old Boy” Maguire replied “with ME!”
“You?”
“Yeeaahhssss!”
Sven bit his lip and ground his teeth again, metaphorically of course, at the same time. “OK….” Sven gasped silently out-loud half-questioning the
rationality and impertinence of Maguire’s intentions but not wanting to reveal
his own “….so what’s the timetable going to be for all this to happen?”
“Let me show you” said Maguire as he took out a pre-prepared
manuscript. One hundred and twenty-three pages of a draft proposal written for the Board of Research Ethics at his
Department two months ago. Sven grabbed it from his hands and started to thumb through it. It contained a fully costed timeline for the research to happen without any exact dates but enough detail for him to think this was all too much of a coincidence.
“You had this prepared?” Sven startled blinking rapidly now sitting on the edge of his chair.
“Like I said…” the Professor returned a rasping volley back to Sven with what he thought would be his final indefatigable point “…WE HAVE PEOPLE!” he declared victoriously and smiled gleefully at his intellectual accomplishments.
“IN LIBYA!” came the retort, as Sven moved back to the table with the leaves of the manuscript unfurling within his hands.
